Wisdom of a Child

My relationship with Luke is a gift from God. I teach him, he teaches me. Some background. He has not had a win in bike racing in 9 months (since my last blog post also). This week, he raced at Lake Perris, came in third in the first preliminary heat but was able to take the lead in the final race and hold off other bikers for a win. A great experience. That's the "good". The "bad" is that he has been less than energetic getting chores and schoolwork done and when I have to remind him, he gives out a big sigh, rolls his eyes (he says he doesn't) and groans while he has to do it. So this tension between him and I has been growing and we talked about it with no clear conclusion. Sunday, as we sat watching TV, out of the blue, he said, "I don't want to make a big deal out of this, but I want to apologize if I have been rolling my eyes and being disrespectful."

That's the heart of my son. I was so proud.

So we go on. Luke loves to have discussions and will always say, "So, what do you want to talk about?" He does this when we are alone or when we have a bunch of guys driving to a BMX race. So we are coming back from a new track in Chula Vista last night and we start a discussion. As it goes on, I ask him if we should feel bad about not taking some neighbor's children to church with us more often since these kids really enjoy it and their parents don't attend a church, have an known relationship with God, and are definitely not believers in Jesus Christ. Luke said that it was the parent's responsibility, not ours. Then we talked about the fact that all people, some day, must address their relationship with God, either now or sometime before they die. These parents just haven't done that yet. Since we have a relationship with the Lord, we should step in with these children. We also talked about conversations I had with my brother Billy, just prior to his death, with the hope that my brother, in a coma, may have given his life to Christ gefore his death. We talked about this some more then Luke talked about a movie he saw about Christmas. He talked about how a kid was being a bully all year long knowing that he was going to ask God for forgiveness just before Christmas. The bully knew that God would forgive him. Luke saw the analogy of my brother never relating to God, possibly till right before his death. He didn't think that was fair, in either case, for the person to live a life of bullying, or indifference to God, knowing that God would always forgive them, no matter what. Luke said, "It is like you are abusing God, knowing that whatever you do, he will forgive you, because he's God."

Abusing God. Never thought about it that way. But Luke did. We have some things to work out in his theology, but the fact that Luke, at 10, is pondering the gift of God's grace and forgiveness is the part that makes me proud of the heart God has placed in him.

Luke may struggle at reading. We may battle over responsibility and maturity. But he has a heart. My Lord thank you, this boy has a heart for You.

Luke's Heart and a Jedi mind trick



A lot of times we have to to work with our children when they come up against issues that they have never faced before.  With Luke, I can learn from him as much as he can from me.

As we were talking one night before he went to sleep, Luke told me about a situation in one of his classes.  A teacher, known as a "mean teacher" by some of the students in the school, had been in the habit of handing out test papers and commenting as she handed them out.  One of Luke's classmates was struggling in the class, and according to Luke, the teacher would make a joke or a unkind comment that the other students would hear and sometimes laugh at.  Luke thought the teacher was being unkind and we left it as an item we would talk about some other night.
 
A week or two went by and I finished my breakfast one morning and asked Luke what was the latest with that teacher.

His reply,"I talked to her this week."

Shock.

I immediately sat down and  asked for details.  Luke said that as the teacher was passing out papers, she made a comment about the student's results.  Apparently Luke decided to do something.  He stayed after class and spoke to the teacher.  He said that what the teacher  was saying to the student wasn't kind and that it would be better, if the student didn't do well, to maybe she should work with the student some more.and not say things out loud to the student when he gets a bad grade.

Double Shock.

"So" I said, " what did the teacher says."  He said that she she said in all of her years of teaching, no student has every confronted her like that,  She also said that she will try to do better in the future.

I am so proud.of Luke.  On his own, he decided that the situation wasn't getting better and that he needed to act.  He responded discreetly and respectfully.  He described the action and the result of that action.  He suggested possible corrective action.  This is classic mangement in a loving, caring way.  I have to study and learn these behaviors.

Luke has them in his heart.

So I told my friends about Luke, I told his grandparents.  I thought that was it.
The next weekend, I asked if there had been any changes in the teacher's behavior.  He said she was passing back test the next week ands as she came to the student who always has difficulty.  She was ready to say something, then she looked at Luke, smiled and just gave the student his test back quietly.

I asked Luke how he felt.  He said, as he saw the teacher getting close to the student and then walk away and he felt like the scene from Star Wars where Obi-Wan used a Jedi mind trick to convince a Stormtrooper to tell Obi-Wan and Luke to "move along."

Obi-Wan: These aren't the droids you're looking for.
Stormtrooper: These aren't the droids we're looking for.
Obi-Wan: He can go about his business.
Stormtrooper: You can go about your business.
Obi-Wan: Move along.


Only Luke

A Start of a Jouney - Day 1

Day 1 - June 3rd - Leaving from my mother's house in Pittsburgh, PA at 7:30 AM. We didn't plan to wear similar outfits but at least we are starting out visually stunning! We would drive about 500 miles to my friends, the Bardens, in Plymouth, Indiana. The first conflict started before we got even to the Pennsylvania Turnpike. I had used Google maps and had the route electronically and on paper. Kevin had a "VZ Navigator" added to his phone. I have lived in Penn Hills for 20 years and knew how to get to the Pennsylvania Turnpike, I thought. The VZ Navigator, known as "Linda" to Kevin, wanted a different route. I acquiesced to Kevin since he and "Linda" were driving. Let's just say, we ended up turning around after Linda said "recalculating route" 2 - 3 times. So before we started heading west, we went east for a while, then "Made the soonest legal u-turn" and headed west. Linda would become our friend for 2,700 miles. She had small issues when she was just waking up in the morning, leaving a destination and getting the exact right address near the end of the day. But overall, she was a loyal companion and I would recommend a real-time, GPS navigator to everyone. Off we went.

Great ride to Plymouth. We arrived just past three to the Barden children saying, "Uncle Tom, Uncle Tom" and the adventure was started. Karen had made her famous crumb cake for a snack before church. Chad showed up just in time for us to make the short drive up to South Bend, Indiana (home of Notre Dame) for a church Service at Granger Community Church. It was a very dynamic service to say the least and we were amazed that at a mid-week service, you had a packed auditorium om easily a few hundred people. Off to dinner at Houlihan's and day one was complete. 2,200 miles to go. It was great to see our friends, spend some time with their family and starting our week of right.

Home is where the memories are.

I spent a few days back where I grew up and helped my mom do some chores around the house. One of them was cutting the front bushes and adding mulch to the flower beds. Not a big job, a few hours at most, but it made a big visual difference with the house. We both thought the house looked great and that this was the photo that we would use if we ever sold it. It got me thinking of what it was like to grow up in this house and a few things stood out.

To most people this is just some old broken steps, made in 1954. But this is different. These steps were put in to connect the back yard of our house to the back yard of our neighbors. We had another one on the other side that connected us to the Muldowneys. These were made so it would be easier for us to connect with our neighbors and their houses. I live in California and the thought that you would have stairs and concrete paths that connect you with your neighbors wouldn't even be thought of for the front yard, let alone the back. In California, there are walls or fences that are at least 5 feet high between each house. By order of the homeowners association, you cannot even take them down. It wasn't that way when I grew up, not on Poe Drive at least.

Just a pad of concrete you see, right. Not to me. This is the concrete pad that my dad and I were working on in 1972 when he had the heart attack that ended his life. We had just finished raking the stones that were used as a base for the cement when we took a break and rested in the back yard. That is when he had the heart attack. Not a great memory, I'll admit, but some day we'll sell this house. Someone will tear out the steps to the neighbors, probably remove this unused pad of concrete, but I wanted to remember it. You see, the house where I grew up in has good memories and bad. But it is still where I grew up. There is the old expression about never going home again. It's From "A Death in the Family" by James Agee. The full quote is:

"How far we all come. How far we all come away from ourselves. You can never go home again."

It's a story about a family dealing with the accidental death of the father. The story is about a husband and father is called out of town to be with his own father, who has had a heart attack, and while returning is killed in a car accident. James Agee patterned the story after his own life. The story is about a boy who is the same age as James was when his father died. James Agee was six when his father died. I was ten when my father died.

The issue is that you can go home, you must go home, eventually. Running away, as I did as a child when my father fell to the ground, and as an adult leaving for California, doesn't work. Every demon, every bad memory, must be addressed. For me, these aren't bad memories now, they are just part of my past that shaped who I am. I was there when my father died. I was at my brother's side when he died. These are terrible moments, but they make us stronger when we have the time and space to understand them. No one is devoid of these type of memories. Most people have much worse memories that they have to face. But God allows these to happen to us. He does not cause them. He allows them. Our eventual decision is how will we react to them. Will we become "bitter" or will we get "better?" It's a choice. It's "Free Will." It's God's Plan. I read the Book. I know the ending.

Only Luke - "I am an animal"

Luke and I spend a lot of time together. Yesterday we went to get him shoes that he can race in for his BMX bike. On these trips, Luke and I will talk about life, play word games, 5 questions or "I am an animal." If you don't know this game, one person thinks of an animal and the other has to guess it, asking the person simple "yes" or "no" questions. Some questions are:

Does you animal live in the ocean?
Do people have it as a pet?
Is it a carnivore?

You get the idea. This goes on until you guess the animal or you can ask for a hint. This is where Luke trips me up. We stopped this game a couple of years ago because his hints were a little cryptic. I'll tell you why.

We started with Luke having to think of an animal. 10-15 minutes later, I got it; he was a mouse. I called Darcy because I was so excited, I hadn't guessed his animal in years. Now it was my turn. I picked a moose. Luke asked tons of questions but couldn't guess it. He knew it stood on four legs, people sometimes hunted it, it had a big nose like a horse and had fur. He couldn't guess it. So he asked for a hint. I said, It has a type of antler/horn on it's head." Still no luck. Finally I said that it started with the letter "M." He got it. Moose.

Later that night, as Luke and I are in the habit of doing, we talk for a time before he goes to bed. He said that he did a great job guessing. I disagreed and said that my hints were too easy. Giving him that hint that it started with an "m" made it simple. Luke agreed. He said he would have given a better hint. I asked what his hint would be for "moose":

"It's a type of gel"

Only Luke.....

Karina's Mother's Day

I'll admit I was worried as we approached Mother's Day and the one year anniversary of Karina's mother's death. But Karina has such a joyful heart, nothing deters her. She asked Darcy to be at the Mother's Day lunch in her class. Darcy took off the afternoon so she could be there. Karina happily tells everyone that her mother is in heaven and is an angel.

Karina and Mark are leaving for the summer and will be gone for over two months. Karina will probably stay long periods of time with relatives she has never met. I'm not worried, they speak English and if there is anyone who I have ever met who can joyfully adapt to new situations, it is Karina.

Next time you open your eyes, we will see each other again

My friend David Anderson died last night. He was the man who performed the wedding ceremony when Darcy and I got married. He was my friend Mark's father, but he was much more than that to me. We were friends. He always wanted to remind me that he considered me his fourth son. That was and is a great honor. We celebrated his 50th birthday party at my house. We had his son Mark's wedding reception at my house also. He was such a strong man of faith, humor, compassion and intelect that even my brother said he would attend church if David was preaching. I saw him in Phoenix on my way to a bike race last November. We spent a few hours together and they were so very special. His body was failing him, but his mind and his spirit were not.

David and I shared such great memories and laughter that they are too numerous to mention.

The strength of my faith and the promise of eternal life through Jesus Christ assures me that David and I will meet again. Nobody is exactly sure what heaven will look like or what we will experience but the Lord will reunite us with those Christians that have fallen before us. I would like to believe that David will be in great health, sitting in a comfortable chair and then we'll share the stories that made us laugh so hard we'll cry. There are no tears of sorrow in heaven but I have to believe that tears of laughter are all around. Even more so since David is there.