Friday, July 29, 2011

Returning to where I came from

Writing for school has taken its toll. So many papers are "reflective" that I've been remiss in writing on the blog. Then it is such a long time since you wrote, you feel bad. Sort of like writing in a diary. Miss a few times and you stop because of the gap.
Lots has changed since that post in 2010 and that, I hope, I'll gather together so I can always remember the intricate journey that God took me on. But today, working at Open Doors, I had the opportunity to have a day of "Extended Personal Communion Day." What does that look like? Well, it centers around "Space for God." The same topic that I left on in April of 2010. So as Paul Jensen was setting up our day he spoke of God anticipating this time with us. That struck me. God looking forward to speaking with us just like we look forward to speaking with a treasured friend. So as I thought about the four hours in the middle of this day I wondered what I wanted to do. Bike down to the beach? That would accomplish exercise and a quiet time near the ocean. Maybe finish the forms for obtaining the Legion of Honor medal for Jim Cramer, my father's WWII buddy. That would be worthwhile also. What about finally putting work in remembering the journey God took me on in the three years prior to being placed here at Open Doors? That would honor God's work with me. But Paul spoke, in passing, about possibly sharing in grief with another person. Well, that hit home, as two close friends lost a parent this weekend. They both told me within hours of each other. My best friend Tyler lost his mother this last Saturday. We affectionately called her, "Wondermom" because, in fact, she was just that. A wonder of strength, of character and of faith. Another close friend Al, lost his father after a battle with ALS. So there I sat last Saturday, crying like a baby. Sad for Tyler, sad for my loss, as WonderMom was always so nice, so sincere and so caring to me. Thankful for the memories though.

So as I was packing my bike and getting ready to head to the beach, I dropped both friends a text telling them that I was taking some time, by the grace of God, to spend away in prayer for them and that if they had the time, to call me. Al called and said that the funeral was today at 1:00 and that he need my prayers and would want to speak with me tomorrow. So off I rode. Getting 1/2 mile from the office, I get a call from Tyler. I stopped under a tree and we spoke for an hour. He told me the story of his mother's last few days. Her diagnosis with cancer on Tuesday, her call to her sons to her side on Thursday and her dying peacfully at her home early Saturday morning. With Tyler by her side. A story of a gracious woman, lovd by a gracious God, joyfully meeting each other in heaven.

Very few tears. More on my side than Tyler's. I'm uually the emotional one now. Crying at Sports Center, "Make-a-Wish" stories at 5:30 AM. Tyler told me of his mother's great faith, her desire to be with her God and to see her husband again, who died two years ago. But in the end, God took this time, this space, to connect me back with my best friend, who God has graced me with, intertwining our lives in so many ways.

So we talked, the loving, space-filled talk of two men who trust deeply, love deeply and know that their eternal destinations are assured. We will truly always be friends. We found out that our two nieces that were born three days apart, twenty-some years ago are getting married in Pittsburgh seven days apart. Twenty five years ago we spent time in a bar together, hoping that our nieces woould be born on the same day, in our minds, cementing the friendship. That didn't happen but our lives stayed connected. Now we know we will be in Pittsburgh together, celebrating the marriage ceremonies of those same liitle baby girls we hoped would share a birthday. Tyler and I have been through so much. The depth of friendship that carried us through the best of times, the worst of times. And now through the saddest of times.

So I go back. Always remebering that those who know me best know me as "Little Tommy Smith." Tyler calls me that, so does God. I love and am loved by both.

I am so blessed.

1 comment:

Selena said...

Tommy, I'm overwhelmed as a too often distant witness to your faith, friendship and grief. What a wonderful reflection of your friendship and capacity to love. Thank you for sharing your humanity and deep compassion.

With love, Selena