A Start of a Jouney - Day 1

Day 1 - June 3rd - Leaving from my mother's house in Pittsburgh, PA at 7:30 AM. We didn't plan to wear similar outfits but at least we are starting out visually stunning! We would drive about 500 miles to my friends, the Bardens, in Plymouth, Indiana. The first conflict started before we got even to the Pennsylvania Turnpike. I had used Google maps and had the route electronically and on paper. Kevin had a "VZ Navigator" added to his phone. I have lived in Penn Hills for 20 years and knew how to get to the Pennsylvania Turnpike, I thought. The VZ Navigator, known as "Linda" to Kevin, wanted a different route. I acquiesced to Kevin since he and "Linda" were driving. Let's just say, we ended up turning around after Linda said "recalculating route" 2 - 3 times. So before we started heading west, we went east for a while, then "Made the soonest legal u-turn" and headed west. Linda would become our friend for 2,700 miles. She had small issues when she was just waking up in the morning, leaving a destination and getting the exact right address near the end of the day. But overall, she was a loyal companion and I would recommend a real-time, GPS navigator to everyone. Off we went.

Great ride to Plymouth. We arrived just past three to the Barden children saying, "Uncle Tom, Uncle Tom" and the adventure was started. Karen had made her famous crumb cake for a snack before church. Chad showed up just in time for us to make the short drive up to South Bend, Indiana (home of Notre Dame) for a church Service at Granger Community Church. It was a very dynamic service to say the least and we were amazed that at a mid-week service, you had a packed auditorium om easily a few hundred people. Off to dinner at Houlihan's and day one was complete. 2,200 miles to go. It was great to see our friends, spend some time with their family and starting our week of right.

Home is where the memories are.

I spent a few days back where I grew up and helped my mom do some chores around the house. One of them was cutting the front bushes and adding mulch to the flower beds. Not a big job, a few hours at most, but it made a big visual difference with the house. We both thought the house looked great and that this was the photo that we would use if we ever sold it. It got me thinking of what it was like to grow up in this house and a few things stood out.

To most people this is just some old broken steps, made in 1954. But this is different. These steps were put in to connect the back yard of our house to the back yard of our neighbors. We had another one on the other side that connected us to the Muldowneys. These were made so it would be easier for us to connect with our neighbors and their houses. I live in California and the thought that you would have stairs and concrete paths that connect you with your neighbors wouldn't even be thought of for the front yard, let alone the back. In California, there are walls or fences that are at least 5 feet high between each house. By order of the homeowners association, you cannot even take them down. It wasn't that way when I grew up, not on Poe Drive at least.

Just a pad of concrete you see, right. Not to me. This is the concrete pad that my dad and I were working on in 1972 when he had the heart attack that ended his life. We had just finished raking the stones that were used as a base for the cement when we took a break and rested in the back yard. That is when he had the heart attack. Not a great memory, I'll admit, but some day we'll sell this house. Someone will tear out the steps to the neighbors, probably remove this unused pad of concrete, but I wanted to remember it. You see, the house where I grew up in has good memories and bad. But it is still where I grew up. There is the old expression about never going home again. It's From "A Death in the Family" by James Agee. The full quote is:

"How far we all come. How far we all come away from ourselves. You can never go home again."

It's a story about a family dealing with the accidental death of the father. The story is about a husband and father is called out of town to be with his own father, who has had a heart attack, and while returning is killed in a car accident. James Agee patterned the story after his own life. The story is about a boy who is the same age as James was when his father died. James Agee was six when his father died. I was ten when my father died.

The issue is that you can go home, you must go home, eventually. Running away, as I did as a child when my father fell to the ground, and as an adult leaving for California, doesn't work. Every demon, every bad memory, must be addressed. For me, these aren't bad memories now, they are just part of my past that shaped who I am. I was there when my father died. I was at my brother's side when he died. These are terrible moments, but they make us stronger when we have the time and space to understand them. No one is devoid of these type of memories. Most people have much worse memories that they have to face. But God allows these to happen to us. He does not cause them. He allows them. Our eventual decision is how will we react to them. Will we become "bitter" or will we get "better?" It's a choice. It's "Free Will." It's God's Plan. I read the Book. I know the ending.

Only Luke - "I am an animal"

Luke and I spend a lot of time together. Yesterday we went to get him shoes that he can race in for his BMX bike. On these trips, Luke and I will talk about life, play word games, 5 questions or "I am an animal." If you don't know this game, one person thinks of an animal and the other has to guess it, asking the person simple "yes" or "no" questions. Some questions are:

Does you animal live in the ocean?
Do people have it as a pet?
Is it a carnivore?

You get the idea. This goes on until you guess the animal or you can ask for a hint. This is where Luke trips me up. We stopped this game a couple of years ago because his hints were a little cryptic. I'll tell you why.

We started with Luke having to think of an animal. 10-15 minutes later, I got it; he was a mouse. I called Darcy because I was so excited, I hadn't guessed his animal in years. Now it was my turn. I picked a moose. Luke asked tons of questions but couldn't guess it. He knew it stood on four legs, people sometimes hunted it, it had a big nose like a horse and had fur. He couldn't guess it. So he asked for a hint. I said, It has a type of antler/horn on it's head." Still no luck. Finally I said that it started with the letter "M." He got it. Moose.

Later that night, as Luke and I are in the habit of doing, we talk for a time before he goes to bed. He said that he did a great job guessing. I disagreed and said that my hints were too easy. Giving him that hint that it started with an "m" made it simple. Luke agreed. He said he would have given a better hint. I asked what his hint would be for "moose":

"It's a type of gel"

Only Luke.....

Karina's Mother's Day

I'll admit I was worried as we approached Mother's Day and the one year anniversary of Karina's mother's death. But Karina has such a joyful heart, nothing deters her. She asked Darcy to be at the Mother's Day lunch in her class. Darcy took off the afternoon so she could be there. Karina happily tells everyone that her mother is in heaven and is an angel.

Karina and Mark are leaving for the summer and will be gone for over two months. Karina will probably stay long periods of time with relatives she has never met. I'm not worried, they speak English and if there is anyone who I have ever met who can joyfully adapt to new situations, it is Karina.

Next time you open your eyes, we will see each other again

My friend David Anderson died last night. He was the man who performed the wedding ceremony when Darcy and I got married. He was my friend Mark's father, but he was much more than that to me. We were friends. He always wanted to remind me that he considered me his fourth son. That was and is a great honor. We celebrated his 50th birthday party at my house. We had his son Mark's wedding reception at my house also. He was such a strong man of faith, humor, compassion and intelect that even my brother said he would attend church if David was preaching. I saw him in Phoenix on my way to a bike race last November. We spent a few hours together and they were so very special. His body was failing him, but his mind and his spirit were not.

David and I shared such great memories and laughter that they are too numerous to mention.

The strength of my faith and the promise of eternal life through Jesus Christ assures me that David and I will meet again. Nobody is exactly sure what heaven will look like or what we will experience but the Lord will reunite us with those Christians that have fallen before us. I would like to believe that David will be in great health, sitting in a comfortable chair and then we'll share the stories that made us laugh so hard we'll cry. There are no tears of sorrow in heaven but I have to believe that tears of laughter are all around. Even more so since David is there.

The Joy of a Child (Hannah) Seeking their Father

I was struggling this morning in my "quiet time." I was reading from God Calling and also from The Contrarian's Guide to Spirituality. It just seems that lately, my mind wanders to financial matters, business issues or just this old life. I had switched my morning reading time to downstairs to do something different. I was reading for an hour or so before I heard the sound of Hannah upstairs running. Usually she wakes up, runs into my office and jumps in my chair and we snuggle for 5 minutes or so. Today she ran in and I wasn't there. She ran to my bedroom and I wasn't there. Then she saw the light on downstairs and ran to lie next to me on the couch where I was reading. She asked me to put my book down and just hold her.

That was it.

I felt a small percentage of what God must feel like when we seek Him, when we find Him and when we revel in His presence. It seems so simple and easy. I was just reading in God Calling, which is a book about two women who prayed fervently for a year and believe that the heard the voice of Jesus in their prayers. As I was reading today, I read where Jesus was talking to us saying, "Seek Me, love Me, joy in Me. I am your Guide. Can you hold on in My strength? I need you more than you need Me (emphasis added)." God needs me! He wants to hear from me and to hold me.

How God must revel that I even seek Him. The joy He must feel, like my joy when I heard Hannah running upstairs looking for me. The Joy He must feel when we adore our time with Him, when we rest in Him. But then Hannah saw the time and had to get ready for school. She asked for 5 more minutes of being held before she had to go. This is a great time for BOTH of us. Then she went to get ready. Off she went and I went to my office to start the day of work.

After a working for a while, I heard Karina wake up and my heart felt that joy once again.

The Coin Returns (see post of 1-26-08)

Today I opened the mail and there I saw a letter from my friend at the Defense Department. A short note accompanied his coin and I sent of a brief note of thanks to him. It really was silly how much I wanted this coin back. I looked at it for a while then put it in a plastic holder. I was heading out to a local bike shop for some parts and I thought about taking it with me. Not a great idea. I put it in my safe and locked it. I did take one of my coins with me. You never know when the opportunity to share your faith may arise.

It is dangerous to take Bible verses out of context or take different genres from the Bible and apply them incorrectly, but as this episode unfolded I was reminded of the words of Jesus, recounted by Luke 15:8-10:

"Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Does she not light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.' In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents."

Maybe this story will help someone, anyone, repent of their sins and give their life over to Jesus.

Amen.

Why I know God loves me personally

As parents, we are amazed when we have our first child. We look at them, touch them, kiss them, feed them and clean up after them. Most of all we love them. We have created a human being and though it is a daunting task, that love grows as they grow. If we are blessed with another child, our love for the first child is not lessened or split between the two. It is equally applied to the new child. Our love graciously grows. When I see the school pictures of Hannah and Luke, I am amazed at how much I love them and adore them. I told Luke this morning that I cannot imagine a father loving his children, and expressing it, more than I love them.

But I'm wrong. Based on the simple premise that there must be an "Intelligent Designer" that created the earth and therefore us, He must be much more powerful than me. It would therefore go that He would make a creature similar to Himself, but not infinite, sovereign or omniscient as Himself. And based on these two creations I've had a hand in creating, I cannot believe that He would not be concerned with everything they, and I, do. My faith has grown and changed in my life, but there is one thing I am sure about, that I can trust above all other things. That is that I have a perfect Father in heaven who cares about me, listens to my prayers and responds as He sees fit, not just because I want something. I believe I am a very good father to my children. I am intentional, I try to get better and I love them dearly, even when I have to discipline them. But I am so imperfect.

Luckily they have a perfect Father in heaven.

And He knows us and loves us. Imperfect as we are.

Hannah hates her P. E. Teacher (today)

Just because your mom is the P. E. teacher at the school doesn't mean you have to like it. Hannah run/walks everyday at school. Last year she completed over 100 miles during the school's running program. But according to school regulations, a few times a year they are timed on how fast they complete a mile. Hannah doesn't like it and expressed her displeasure on the whiteboard I set up on her closet doors. Just in case you can't see the fine print, it says:

Dear Mile Meanee, (otherwise known as Meanee Mom)

We are not running a mile.

I hate P. E.!

It is a looser program!

You have to love her passion, if not her spelling.

OK, Luke is Fine, just ask him!

Luke is a smart child who struggles with his reading and therefore, his writing. Here is his written response to seeing his mid-term progress report. Since I'm not taking classes, we read together every night and sometimes have "math facts" challenges between Luke and Hannah before dinner. His reading is getting better, not "fine", but better. Pray that we may continue to see progress from our work together.

The Lost Coin of a U. S. Defense Department official

(Revised in respect of the official's privacy (2-5-09)

About two year ago I was flying to Denver. I had my schoolwork from Biola University ready for the three hour flight. This was valuable time and I was a new student. Part of the project was in time-management and I was to write down everything I did for 24 hours. As I started studying, the man in the seat next to me started talking to me. I was polite but I really wanted to get going on my studies as this was the first class in Organizational Leadership at Biola University. I wanted this uninterrupted time to study. He continued to talk so I finally figured that instead of learning about Christianity, I should demonstrate it by being a better listener. Eventually I learned that this man was a high ranking official in the Defense Department.

He has lead a fascinating life. He told me of his life in the Pentagon, working with the President, Donald Rumsfield and Dick Cheney. Near the end of our trip, as we were getting close to landing in Denver, he showed me a coin. It is his personal coin. It has the flag that is flown wherever he goes. I looked at it and he told me the military tradition that if he gave his coin to you and if you didn't have it with you, and it was within the next 24 hours, you had to buy the officer's club a round of drinks. Secretary Rumsfield left his personal coin at the site of the plane crash in Shanksville, Pa. on 9-11. Then he gave me his coin. I thought it was so cool that I kept it with me, telling people about the story and just holding it in my hand. Just touching it. It was about 1 3/4 inches in diameter and fairly heavy. Finally it hit me. I should make my own coin. There were many occasions when I spoke of my relationship with the Lord and it would be nice to give that person a gift. There are other times when I just want to say thank you and this could be a way of doing it. Luckily, a man I worked with, Daniel Garmus, used to design coins for McDonnell Douglas, so I had him put my ideas into the design.

I had 100 of them made and have given away quite a few of them. I wrote to my friend and sent one to him in thanks for him being the inspiration. He was gracious enough to remember me and I sent it to him. About two months ago, I realized that the story seemed to be better if I had his coin with me. So I kept his coin and one of my coins with me to remind me about speaking of the Gospel. Unfortunately, sometime near Christmas, I must have given out his coin instead of mine. I was heart-broken and very embarrassed. I e-mailed him at Christmas but never heard back from him. With the change of administrations, I wanted to see what his plans were (and broach the subject of a replacement coin). He answered this Saturday at 6:00 in the morning. I was thrilled. He has been asked by the new administration to stay on until a replacement is named and confirmed, which will take several months. He said he'd send me his new e-mail when he gets it. I then had to humble myself and tell him the story of the lost coin. "No problem" he said, "I'll send you another one." I was thrilled. I haven't received it yet but it will be here. I'm like a little kid waiting for my coin to return. It will not leave the safe in my house.

This is not my missing coin, but a similar one. I can't show the actual picture as it will reveal his identity and he asked that he'd "rather not to have my name out on the net in any form."

Luke and the Mountain - Conquering Fear (Part II)

Yes that is Luke and I working our way down a pretty steep hillside. We all have our demons. Things we fear. Some of us are born with them, some of us acquire our fears as we go on in life. Mine was swimming and open water. I may not have completely conquered it, but I am now able to swim in the open ocean in triathlon events. Luke has never loved heights. I know this because as I carry him up the stairs to bed, he never wants to be too close to the edge. This weekend, we went to Agua Caliente, a camp site in San Diego with the YMCA Indian Guides. Besides the hot water springs, they have mud caves that you get to explore. Not having explored these before, Luke, the rest of the tribe and I explored the caves. What we didn't notice is that as time went on, the caves led us up to the top of some hills that we had to descend to get down to the parking lot. Luke was way in front, as he is one of the older kids. I saw from the top that we were pretty far up and had to go down a very narrow path. I was near the back of the line. I saw Luke start to hesitate and start to let people pass him and let them head down the hill in front of him. He started breathing hard and when I came up, he said, "Dad, I just want to go back. Let's go back through the caves, I don't want to go down this hill!" Tears started to flow. We slowed down and talked about it and I promised him I'd be with him every step of the way. By now, all of the kids were way ahead but nobody said anything but encouraging words to Luke. Finally he said, "Let's do it, but slowly."

So we went down. Slowly. Very slowly. Step by step we went down together. But he did it. Luckily a member of the tribe took this picture and I had it framed in Luke's room with the signature:

Luke,

There is nothing that we can't overcome if we work together.

Dad

John 16:33

Fear takes another hit from the Smith boys.